爱与不爱

悄悄站在门外
静静望着你发呆
你闪烁的双眼
看着一片海
笑起来
重来不对你说明白
害怕你会被伤害
也许我不因该
站在着门外
所以我们才默默分开
当爱与不爱一样让人心痛
我们都无法可说
你现在的快乐
不是因为我
我很难过
当爱与不爱一样让人心痛
那就松开我的手
故事走到最后
希望你更好过
请你忘了
曾经有我
当爱与不爱一样让人心痛
我们都无法可说
你现在的快乐
不是因为我
我很难过
当爱与不爱一样让人心痛
那就松开我的手
故事走到最后
希望你更好过
请你忘了
曾经有我

the 1st time, i listen to this song i feel like crying..

Oh damn.. what the hell to me again?

people laugh is because of they are happy, me?

laugh till i can think about those sad thing and my tears gonna come out every time...

what the hell happens to me again?

and every time i laugh... there's people that i dont wanna see appears in front of me?

what happen to me again?

I thought i'm totally recover.. how can HE treat me like that?

made me face so many sad thing?

HE thought that i can face it myself?

please GOD, I'm still not yet alright.. i know what is the purpose.. i know you wanna me to face it all of them myself..

I know you wanna me not to skipping it again.

What to do? too hard.. its too hard for me..

I really can't afford..

every time... my mind will automatically think back those thing.. i wanna to forget.. why so hard?

Its full of my mind... whenever doing anything... its full..

I'm gonna crazy.. I really already avoid a lot of thing.. but why? why those people always want to appear in front of me? please go away from my life.. please.. i wanna beg them... I'm hoping to leave this school and place.. its almost there....

2 weeks time.. i already face them for months.. i almost cannot afford it... I'm so regret now..

why? why people want to treat me like that? i treat him was soo good...

See.. what i got? sadness only.. why they want to treat me like that?

I was so regret to do that action before.. if i dont.. how my life would be? i think will nice and no worries like my high school life..

I kinda miss that kind of life.. I'm tired of it.. i dont know what did i do.. and i got such pay back.. well thank you very much to the one who made me like that... yes! you're always in my mind.. for what? you know? for a punishment to me.. to make the worst decision in my entire life.. this is the 1st time.. and the last time for my life.. we wont be friend anymore.. know what? cos see.. how you treat me.. i treat you good enough and what i got?

now i know.. dont treat people too good.. they will hurt you back if you are not his friend too long.. better look through his real personality before you gonna be with him.. now i realize.. after that night.. i shouldn't ask you such question.. i'm sooo regret.. if i dont.. we'll be hi and bye friend only... thats great enough.. nothing much.. so good..

these questions and blames are in my head for weeks... i can't really figure out what happen to me.. i just wanna to leave IS faster to let me never see him again... that shit people... can you please FOREVER dont appear in front of me again? okay.. just 2 weeks... its going to be better soon... soon... very soon..

I'm not that good in mood recently... even i still laugh and smile to all the people...

And at here wanna say sorry to a friend, cos he always follow that shit people and i 'bu xiao xin' gave him a lot of 'fan yan'. sorry.

I dont meant to give that shit people fan yan actually.. but.. still got any better way to forget him in my entire life? i really cant figure it out...

today is my friend's birthday.. at here.. wanna wish her have a great 19th birthday.. i just wanna to thank them to let me have months of happy life.. if dont have you guys.. i sure cant afford it well.. thank you very much.. love ya friends...

good luck for me..