爱与不爱

悄悄站在门外
静静望着你发呆
你闪烁的双眼
看着一片海
笑起来
重来不对你说明白
害怕你会被伤害
也许我不因该
站在着门外
所以我们才默默分开
当爱与不爱一样让人心痛
我们都无法可说
你现在的快乐
不是因为我
我很难过
当爱与不爱一样让人心痛
那就松开我的手
故事走到最后
希望你更好过
请你忘了
曾经有我
当爱与不爱一样让人心痛
我们都无法可说
你现在的快乐
不是因为我
我很难过
当爱与不爱一样让人心痛
那就松开我的手
故事走到最后
希望你更好过
请你忘了
曾经有我

the 1st time, i listen to this song i feel like crying..

Oh damn.. what the hell to me again?

people laugh is because of they are happy, me?

laugh till i can think about those sad thing and my tears gonna come out every time...

what the hell happens to me again?

and every time i laugh... there's people that i dont wanna see appears in front of me?

what happen to me again?

I thought i'm totally recover.. how can HE treat me like that?

made me face so many sad thing?

HE thought that i can face it myself?

please GOD, I'm still not yet alright.. i know what is the purpose.. i know you wanna me to face it all of them myself..

I know you wanna me not to skipping it again.

What to do? too hard.. its too hard for me..

I really can't afford..

every time... my mind will automatically think back those thing.. i wanna to forget.. why so hard?

Its full of my mind... whenever doing anything... its full..

I'm gonna crazy.. I really already avoid a lot of thing.. but why? why those people always want to appear in front of me? please go away from my life.. please.. i wanna beg them... I'm hoping to leave this school and place.. its almost there....

2 weeks time.. i already face them for months.. i almost cannot afford it... I'm so regret now..

why? why people want to treat me like that? i treat him was soo good...

See.. what i got? sadness only.. why they want to treat me like that?

I was so regret to do that action before.. if i dont.. how my life would be? i think will nice and no worries like my high school life..

I kinda miss that kind of life.. I'm tired of it.. i dont know what did i do.. and i got such pay back.. well thank you very much to the one who made me like that... yes! you're always in my mind.. for what? you know? for a punishment to me.. to make the worst decision in my entire life.. this is the 1st time.. and the last time for my life.. we wont be friend anymore.. know what? cos see.. how you treat me.. i treat you good enough and what i got?

now i know.. dont treat people too good.. they will hurt you back if you are not his friend too long.. better look through his real personality before you gonna be with him.. now i realize.. after that night.. i shouldn't ask you such question.. i'm sooo regret.. if i dont.. we'll be hi and bye friend only... thats great enough.. nothing much.. so good..

these questions and blames are in my head for weeks... i can't really figure out what happen to me.. i just wanna to leave IS faster to let me never see him again... that shit people... can you please FOREVER dont appear in front of me again? okay.. just 2 weeks... its going to be better soon... soon... very soon..

I'm not that good in mood recently... even i still laugh and smile to all the people...

And at here wanna say sorry to a friend, cos he always follow that shit people and i 'bu xiao xin' gave him a lot of 'fan yan'. sorry.

I dont meant to give that shit people fan yan actually.. but.. still got any better way to forget him in my entire life? i really cant figure it out...

today is my friend's birthday.. at here.. wanna wish her have a great 19th birthday.. i just wanna to thank them to let me have months of happy life.. if dont have you guys.. i sure cant afford it well.. thank you very much.. love ya friends...

good luck for me..

My study weeks...

These weeks.. i love to do something alone.. ==

Thats bad.. but let myself to become more independent..

today my phone..... super quite.. like my phone in the REAL SILENT MODE!

you know why?

B'cause i started to not reply people's message..

Very bad right? I dont want to be like that..

BUT... BUT... my this damn new touch screen phone soooo HARD to sms.

even only CALLS... i also will press wrong button...

My gosh... haih!

may be this is a good news for me..

I'm going to study study study.... ^^

HMM... I like to listen to music recently..

Even those old song...

haha~!

Today's i got classmate also call james..

his car break down.. very weird right i mention him at here?

You know why?

B'cause he fetch christopher every day.....

hahahahaa~!

I don't know why... the car which fetch christopher always broke down..

As Irene said... 'SO HOK!'

ahahaha!

i got 3 months didn't fetch christopher...

and this 3 months... i only got once my car broke down.. just because the tyre problem..

SEE!!! saw the difference?

haha.. if james car break down again.. I'm going to tell him this.. LOL!

yea.. my today very nice... I love my life.. haha~!

always play with friends.. I LOVE IT!!!!

people thought.. i'll be sad or what... SORRY LA! I'm still super duper happy...

Now i regret...

I regret to be with him last time..

Know why? cos i got a not that good results to apply dentistry.. DAMN! I'm going to study well well and get into dental school!!!!!!!!!

Last saturday i went to Promenade hotel for interview...

haih.. i think i'm going to fail it.. But!!!! it depends... haha! on my exam results.. so!! i'm going to study well well!!!!!!

and that interview was too sudden for me.. I got not enough time to prepare..

So, well.. I'm going to do better when IMU's interview!!

yea. friends, I'm going to rest now and tonight~ I'm going to have fun again with me gang of friend!!! yay!!! I LOVE MY LIFE~

p.s. be happy always ya friends.

The last day of outing~!

Today gonna be my last day of outing in this month!!

Oh my gosh.. its sounds sad right?!

But its good for me..

I've been long time didn't stay at home a whole day.. Almost every week also got at least 2 or 3 outing. and i didnt do revision for weeks.. AHH!!!

I went out with my friends, and had a great time.

I can laugh and laugh and laugh till wanna vomit (but didnt! haha).. and stomach ache!

hahahahaha~!

my valentine day went out with my 4 dearest friend.

My old friends are really nice.. I love them..

Whenever we out we can talk a lot till laugh none stop, did thing funny, obviously and let people keep looking at us like looking at MONKEYS.

haha~!

E lik told us his historical thing, what he did when he was in primary school..

hahahahaha~! only those thing, we can laugh very loud when he told us in sushi king, Citymall.

tell you guys a classical joke, from e lik..

大牛比较懒, please read from the back to the front word.

haha~! enjoyed?

I love my old friends as well, wherever we go or eat, there's no money problem, transport or time problem.. although we always went out on random days and called friends out in last minute, but we enjoyed. We love it!!!!!!..

last night, i saw my little pink panther, which is my phone hanger, LOST ITS LEG!!!!!

Oh my gosh~! i bought it for rm 20 man.. NOT THE MONEY PROBLEM, IT IS THE THING I LOVE THE MOST!!!!!!!! I'm going to fix it myself~! yea... DIY! perfect~!

Yea friends, I'm going to a party again tonight, farewell party.. My life is so amazing right?!

Thats all.. after reading this post become happy? yea! happy!!!! haha~! i did what i promise you all right?! I will continuously post something nice here.. No sad story~!

p.s. friends, be happy too! Love ya~!

Yea. Its still chinese new year.

~Another dramatic story~

Just happened.. another story.

Dramatic story..

I wonder why, the guys always want to give promises, reasons when they broke up with you?

Same as mine..

I trusted all the promises he made, but?

after few months?

will i have a same situation as my dearest best friend?

should i trust boys?

No! i SHOULD NOT.

i never trust whatever he said after he broke up with me.

Thats the point.

So, i'll never will let him hurt again any parts of mine.

My friend said,

no promise is promise except the promise that your parents made since you were born.

Yes! we have to be strong and never trust whatever the promise the guy gave.

And now, my life is so nice.. i let this people, (my ex boyfriend) totally disappear in my life..

whatever he do? whatever he talk and even he stand in front of me i also don't care at all..

May be you can say me too "small gas" or what. But! i think this is the best way to do.. never care a people that now i'm hate the most and no need to see him as well. Now i really used what my best friend taught me before, its SKIP!!!!!! haha.

yea! Skip him!!!! good way!

You know what my friend asked?

Can't you just friend back with him? I just straight away reply him NO WAY! and after few chatting, i felt that i really hate him. Sorry, can't friend back at all now.. the time i invite 'you' was the last time. I think.. hmm.. if you said nicely to me may be i will not hate you hate till like this.. But you just very simple and very 'fu yan' one. So now, THE END!

thats weird.. i felt happy that i hate him. LOL.

i wanna to type something nice at here actually, but then this is the only place i can type out all my feelings.

So, please forgive me if you guys feel annoying when reading my post..

My life will be nice after this. something nice coming up! haha

Yay! nice days~! I'm coming~~~ haha.

Easy come easy go

everything does not come with a reason..

This my friend's slogan.. Just suddenly wanna to post it here..

haha!

Happy chinese new year, friends.

this chinese new year is the busiest chinese new year i ever have..

haha!

I have to go lots of place to play and have fun..

totally forget who i dont like and what i hate the most..

thats great.. isn't it?

this chinese new year, all my friends came back and we went out..

still remember i got 2 best friends are couple?

the 1st time, i dont get use to it they are together..

they two most of the time stick together and left me out... talk everything themselves..

can you imagine? we 3 are best friends, after that they two become couple and i left out from their conversation..

I was soo sad.. well.. i'll try to get use to it..

now.. I'm still curious.. Why my life got soo many thing to challenge and everything are those sudden sudden one???

Everything comes sudden and WITHOUT a reason..

What happen to my life?

I think i should learn what is EASY COME EASY GO..

This is a totally new year now..

i think, just i think..

I can start over my life again and stop those stupid challenge thing..

Oh ya.. you guys know what a 'jie jie' which didn't see me for a long time told me?

YOU FAT ALREADY!! LOL..

okay!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna keep it back!! haha..

OKOK! now is chinese new year.. dont keep typing those weird and sad thing..

haha!

wish all of you guys enjoy your chinese new year ya!!

My weak heart..

Now i realize..

Why those people said They got heart pain after break up..

Its real!

really pain one..

These days happened too many things..

Till now.. My heart already weak enough..

Very easy to get hurt..

My friend just wanna kidding with me and acted like very angry..

He said " throw away your phone la.. I don't want to send you again.. i dont want to chat with you liao.. sheesh.."

Only like that..

I was already shivering.. Wanna to cry..

Friends you guys really can't believe how weak am i now..

Now i realize.. be strong is not that easy..

but I'll be strong always..

Thanks my friend, Irene, Lokie, Ning, Xeer, Bryan caring me..

thank you very much.. you guys gave me support and great encouragement..